050. Five questions

Leave me a comment saying “Resistance is Futile” and I will respond by asking you five questions that satisfy my curiosity. Update your journal with the answers to the questions, including this in the post.

My favorite Sarah asked me…

1. How many kids total do you want?

That’s a good question… a month ago, I would have told you 4, with maybe more as we fostered more.  Chris and I have even been debating WHEN this year we will start trying for our second.  But as recently as yesterday, I found out that they’re now beginning to bring orphans from Haiti to the US for foster care and adoption.  So when Chris gets home tonight, I’m going to approach him about putting off physically having more kids indefinitely, and instead, getting certified to foster (and eventually adopt) children who already exist and need a home and a family.  I’ve always wanted to adopt, but last semester our friend Jimmy and I were talking about social responsibility, and what if maybe that included not popping out tons of your own, and caring for the ones that are already born.  I want to take that seriously, and as soon as possible.  (And I won’t lie… there’s a tiny part of me that would LOVE to breastfeed a little Haitian baby!)

2. Do you ever wish you hadn’t gotten married as young as you did?

YES YES YES.  For the first YEAR we were married, Chris and I had several conversations about how I wasn’t emotionally separated enough from my parents (mostly my dad), and that we should have waited another year before tying the knot.  And we now believe what everyone says when they tell you that the first year is THE WORST, and it’s all uphill from there.  I literally cried myself to sleep more nights than I can count during that first year.  It was pathetic – no, *I* was pathetic.  I had a LOT to learn about being selfless; going from living for yourself to DAILY having to put someone else’s thoughts/well-being/desires before your own is HARD STUFF, y’all.  And I still suck at it!  There’s nothing like getting married to show you just how self-centered you really are.  It’s a tough reality to face.

But obviously, I love where we’re at now, so it’s a matter of sticking with the commitments you make – and I firmly believe that.  Lovey-doveyness is great, but when push comes to shove comes to fighting comes to crying, being married is a choice that you have to make every single day.  And if you luck out, like me, you’ll be choosing to do it with someone who never questions that choice, even when he’s stuck with a big bitch most of the time.

3. What’s your favorite Beatles song? If you can’t pick just one, what’s your favorite album?

I almost HAVE to say All You Need Is Love – after all, it’s in the most beautiful scene of Love Actually and was in my wedding and is the motto of my life… but the song that carries the most emotional significance to me is In My Life.  In fact, my reasoning won’t make any sense to those reading this if you don’t know the words, so, before I continue, here they are:

There are places I remember
All my life, though some have changed
Some forever not for better
Some have gone and some remain
All these places have their moments
With lovers and friends I still can recall
Some are dead and some are living
In my life I’ve loved them all

But of all these friends and lovers
There is no one compares with you
And these memories lose their meaning
When I think of love as something new
Though I know I’ll never lose affection
For people and things that went before
I know I’ll often stop and think about them
In my life I love you more

Though I know I’ll never lose affection
For people and things that went before
I know I’ll often stop and think about them
In my life I love you more
In my life I love you more

As a Beatles fan, I’ve always loved this song because of all the things it could mean, depending on the situation and the people involved.  The first person for whom I can say this was “our song” was my best guy friend from high school, Jarrett.  In fact, for Valentine’s Day of his senior and my sophomore year, I gave him the lyrics to this, framed, with pictures of us pasted around the edges.  We had helped each other through SO much throughout our friendship, and while we almost dated when we first met, our relationship has ALWAYS been completely platonic – although some people still don’t believe it.  We just knew each other really, really well and loved the hell out of each other.  In fact, I’d still take a bullet for him.  I’m sad that the last time I saw him was the week before I got pregnant, and he’s yet to see my sweet boy. But I digress (no surprise there)..

Now, this song obviously has sentimental value for me and Chris.  How can it not?  But the PRIMARY reason this song is my favorite is because it captures something that I’ve not heard in other songs, or at least not as eloquently: places only have value to me because of the people with whom I’ve spent time there. When I go home, there are certain places that I ALWAYS go.  But it’s nothing to do with the places themselves; sure, they might have good food or eclectic music or incredible scenery… but when I’m there, I’m in a constant state of nostalgia, remembering things that have happened, and the people with whom they’ve happened.  And after losing yet another dear friend this past December, places in Durham mean more to me than ever before, because of the people with whom I’ve shared good times.

This song perfectly describes my emotional connection to Durham and so many other places, far better than I could ever describe it myself.

4. If you could move anywhere tomorrow, where would it be, and why?

Orlando.  Hands down.  I’ve told Chris why, and I still don’t think he gets it.  Maybe someone reading this will.  When I go back to North Carolina, it’s not the same.  It’s where I grew up.  It’s where I experienced the bulk of my youth.  It’s where I have memories that I will hold onto until I die.  But it’s not home anymore.  And whenever we’re in Florida, I truly feel like I’m home.  I can’t explain it… it’s just reality.  I feel perfectly content and happy and comfortable there, which is not how I feel anywhere else.  Sure – as long as Chris is with me, I can be happy anywhere.  But I feel like I’m home in Florida.

5. What’s your favorite memory of 2009?

When we went to DIsneyworld on Chris’ birthday in August, Casey was 9 months old, so we didn’t expect much out of him when it came to reacting to characters, rides, etc.  But when we sat through the 3D show Philharmagic, I held a pair of 3D glasses in front of his eyes just in case… and holy cow - my 9 month old son sat on my lap, mesmerized, for the entire 5 minutes of 3D Disney animation and music and smells and wonder.  It was incredible.  See, I always, ALWAYS cry during Philharmagic, because I love seeing the little kids’ hands reaching out for the jewels floating over their heads, oohing and aahing over the carpet ride, squealing when water is splashed on their faces during The Scorcerer’s Apprentice… and at that moment in time, my son was one of those sweet children who have brought tears to my eyes since New Year’s Eve of 2005.  It was beautiful, and I can’t wait to see how he does when we take him next month.

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